Hi me, Silk in Amsterdam: I have a question thats been nagging me & of course I have recieved "standard" answers to it however I'm still after something a bit more concrete. I was raised a catholic in the good ole us of a. I remember when I was little my mother would say to me on sunday "you go to church or you stay in all day" [black mail of sorts]
so I would go. My mother seldom went & my dad never. It seemed to me that my
mother along with many others went to church (all dressed up) for a variety of reasons {social} precious few of them had much to do with communing with god. I guess we've
all seen (& have been) hypocrites as we all certainly make mistakes. To err is human,
to admit it is not. Today when I think of "religion & god" the one thing that comes to mind is "punishment"- make a mistake or be onery & someone would say "gods going to punish you!" Control through fear type thing?! My experience with religion began I guess when I was around 5 & to be honest it didn't mean much & yes I memorized the prayers & went through all the rituals including "making my first holy communion" [a catholic thing] but I
can't say I was ever "touched", I just went through the motions. I've read the bible, some say it is simply a book written by mortal men, no more no less? Others say those who wrote it were inspired by "god"? Quite frankly I just don't "really" know, I guess, to be honest no one "really" does. I am of the opinion that god is not something that can be "proven" in the conventional sense, you either believe or you don't. Actually if the truth
were known I'd have to say that I believe there is "something" however I do not believe that "something" is what the various religions purport it to be.To each his/her own. I have, by my sisters & friends who do believe in a christian god, been affectionately called a "doubting Thomas" & I suppose thats an apt description. All my life I've been a "questioner" & why not? No honest person can expect you to believe something sight unseen without one single solitary shred of proof, but as I mentioned above faith is something you have or do not have. When I asked my questions as a youngster I would
recieve the standard "bill of fare" - The hand of god works in strange ways or it is not for us to question gods ways & all that same such stuff, you know...... Well for many years my mother was ill (mentally depressed) & then she, after having been through "hell" emotionally, proclaimed that she had seen god? That god had appeared to her? Well lord & behold from that day on she improved & now is as "healthly" sane as any of us? So I say if her believing works for her who am I to question? If her "seeing" god was in
fact (?) only a hallucination, who am I to question or look a gift horse in the mouth? I'm just greatful that she's well! I am of the opinion that if believing makes our trials & tribulations on this tiny pebble in the universe refered to as earth "easier" (be it actually true or false) &
smooths out many disagreeable wrinkles & gives life purpose & brings us happiness, well if it (believing) this then does well I'm all for it, for how could I not be? Now my question: I have traveled the length & breadth of this deranged planet & have seen much suffering & I just can't reconcile that with a compassionate god. As I said I do believe there is "something" however I, as a result of all I've seen, I can't (with my reasoning) call
that "something" compassionate. Oh well thats more or less the long & the short of it. Can anyone offer up a reason god would have for putting us through all these diabolic paces - hunger, sickness, fear ect? Please don't tell me that in the bible- chapter & verse- it says....... Please don't tell me that we are here on trial! That god has its reasons. I'd sincerely like "your own" opinion not the bibles'. chao/Silk
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