Nor was I. I was raised in the church, but drifted into agnosticism
while studying geology in undergraduate school. I clearly remember
reading a book on geochemistry in the library at the U of TN, Knoxville
(while in grad school) which described the distribution of elements in
the universe as being formed by the supernova process. As I read that
paragraph, I remember thinking, "Well, that's it. There is no God;
we're here by evolution." It seemed that a silent, dark desperation
settled in around my soul at that moment.
I had shelved my Bible years ago in my eager pursuit of science, women,
and fun. By the time I got to UT the music had faded, I'd had my fill
of fun, and there were no more women. I'd spent 3 years in the Marines
(9 months in Viet Nam), biked through Europe, circled back through grad
school, worked as a geologist and a core driller (rock drilling -
mineral exploration). I had it all but had nothing I wanted.
I had come to think of the Bible as a collection of fairy tales in the
same category as Santa Claus and Snow White. My best friend divorced
his wife and four-year old son, and he and I got an apartment together.
I felt like dirt because they had split up, so I went by to check on
them (yeah, we eventually got married and I adopted the boy, who is now
28, but that's another story). His ex-wife had become a Christian
through their divorce, as a result of her in-laws inviting her to a
Billy Graham Crusade in Birmingham. As his ex and I were talking, she
told me she had become a Christian, and so, gentle soul that I am, I
began to pick at her faith with my dozen reasons why Christianity
couldn't possibly be true. She responded by offering to set up a
meeting for me with someone who might be able to answer my questions.
I agreed, and that person did answer several of the objections I had.
He recommended a book which I devoured: _Evidence That Demands a
Verdict_ by Josh McDowell. One paragraph in that book became the pivot
point of my life: (this is a rough quote, I don't have the book handy)
"This Jesus, who has been celebrated now for about 300 years, never did
anything noteworthy unless one considers it a very great accomplishment
to heal a few lame and blind people and exorcise a few demoniacs in the
villages of Bethsaida and Bethany." This statement was written by
Julian the Apostate, a Jewish historian who was attempting to discredit
Christianity. It struck me as incongruous that Julian the Apostate
accepted as fact what I had rejected as fairy tales. He was certainly
closer in time to Jesus than I was, and presumably would have had a
better independent assessment of the man than I could ever get. At that
moment I leaned back, looked at the ceiling and thought, "OK, God and
Jesus, if you guys are really there and if you want my life, you can
have it; it's certainly no good to me the way it is." That's all there
was to it; no bells, no bright lights, no angels singing. I just went
back to reading my book.
A couple of weeks later I realized that, in my mind, the weight of
evidence had shifted from "no God" to "there really is a God." I didn't
say anything to anyone, but after another couple of weeks, my friend's
ex said, "You've become a Christian haven't you?" She could see the
difference in my eyes.
Dereck, if you are looking for incontrovertible evidence that God
exists, you'll never find it. The question I think you must answer is,
*if* God convinced you that He is the God of the Bible, would you then
yield control of your body, mind, soul and spirit to His Lordship?
Bill Payne