P. S. And Dave, Brian, and Glenn -- no, I have not forgotten, and yes, I will reply. But I need a goodly chunk of quality time to do so, and such is not to be found tonight.... :^< I apologize for this.
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From: CEAudrit@softart.com[SMTP:CEAudrit@softart.com]
Sent: Monday, February 17, 1997 9:41 AM
To: Lisa Groseclose; Arlene Sonday; cmaudrit@cord.iupui.edu; TANG_SHIRLEY@Lilly.com
Subject: M&M evolution
Where does this stuff come from?
Charlie
______________________________ Forward Header __________________________________
Subject: SA-Expert Humor: M&M's and highlander?
Author: AMNuxoll at SAI-INDY
Date: 2/15/97 6:19 PM
Disturbed Mind #2
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue
the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I
hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That
is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets
to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and
the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that
the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of
competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or
pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be
a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra
strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its
environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest
of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I
pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of
Mars,Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card
reading,"Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free
1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set
aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we
will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.