-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Darwin Awards are (by definition) granted posthumously. This citation
is bestowed upon (the remains of) that individual, who through
single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable
elements from the human gene pool.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The 1996 nominees are:
[San Jose Mercury News] An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a
club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot
himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his stomach.
[Hickory Daily Record 12/21/92] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally
shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C., when, awakening to
the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the
phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which
discharged when he drew it to his ear.
[Unknown, 25 March] A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are
being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas.
There was no mark on his body but autopsy showed large amounts of
methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans
and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right
combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from
breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he
been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been
fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. He was
". . . a big man with a huge capacity for creating [this deadly gas]."
Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.
[Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario] Man slips, falls 23 stories to his
death. A man cleaning a bird feeder on his balcony of his condominium
apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his
death, police said Monday. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a
wheeled chair Sunday when the accident occurred, said Inspector
D'Arcy Honer of the Peel regional police. "It appears the chair
moved and he went over the balcony, "Honer said." It's one of those
freak accidents. No foul play is suspected."
[UPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of
windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane
with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman
said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion
Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of
the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously had
conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police
reports. Peter Lauwers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day
Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best
and brightest" members of the 200-man association.
[AP, Cairo, Egypt, 31 Aug 1995 CAIRO, Egypt (AP)] Six people drowned
Monday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in
southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into
the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the
water pulled him down, police said. His sister and two brothers, none
of whom could swim well, went in one by one to help him, but also
drowned. Two elderly farmers then came to help, but they apparently
were pulled by the same undercurrent. The bodies of the six were later
pulled out of the well in the village of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles south
of Cairo. The chicken was also pulled out. It survived.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
In case you've forgotten about the 1995 awardees, some of them are
listed below:
* James Burns, 34, of Alamo, Mich., was killed in March as he was
trying to repair what police described as a "farm-type truck." Burns
got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung
underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise.
Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found
Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft." [Kalamazoo Gazette, 4-1-95]
* Same thing up here in MI. Seems some poor fella thought it would
be a good idea to "move" a downed wire from his car. Newspaper
reports it took a FULL MINUTE of neighbors whacking away at him with a
2x4 to free their freshly fried former friend from the fatal flashing.
* Bowling Green, Ohio, student Robert Ricketts, 19, had his head
bloodied when he was struck by a Conrail train. He told police he was
trying to see how close to the moving train he could place his head
without getting hit.
* In Wesley Chapel, Florida, Joseph Aaron, 20, was hit in the leg
with pieces of the bullet he fired at the exhaust pipe of his car.
When repairing the car, he needed to bore a hole in the pipe. When he
couldn't find a drill, he tried to shoot a hole in it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------